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About the Book - Shatterproof Your Marriage

 

Click here for video presentation describing the book 
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Click here for video discussion of chapter 13 
Communication Essentials 101 - including tips you can begin using today!

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First of all, you need to know this book came from my own heart. Life - and marriage - isn't always easy. To put it in Christian terms, I'm a sinner just like you. After being married myself since 1974 and seeing couples in distress for over 20 years as a therapist, some fundamental truths began to become clear to me. So the logical thing to do was to go to the bookstore and look for a book that talked about these things. Then I could have my clients do some important reading in between counseling appointments. Sadly, there weren't any that really addressed these things thoroughly all in one book.

So I started writing this book before, after and even in between counseling appointments. I tried to target virtually everything I was seeing in my office in a condensed, easy to read format. To tell you the truth, it wasn't until the book was written that I was able to see the 3 core elements required for a shatterproof marriage. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! These 3 elements represented the recurring themes of the marriages I was seeing in the office. The themes in my own marriage! Now, there isn't a couple I see who doesn't hear about at least one of these elements as it applies to them. 

There are some good books out there, don't get me wrong. But the ideas in this book are absolutely foundational if you really desire a marriage that will endure virtually anything. In fact, they apply to all of life. I challenge you to learn these 3 elements and apply them diligently just for one month. 

All marriages must have the

1. Right personal character
2. Right kind of love, and
3. Right spirit. 

It is ultimately a lack of one or more of these vital elements that creates marital problems and keeps people stuck in them. The vast majority of Americans profess some belief in God --- these elements are rooted in Christian teaching and are also fully supported by research. This is what makes or breaks the therapy process in my own counseling practice. 

Everyone wants to be "happy", but exactly what is happiness and how can we find it and hold onto it? I could not find a self-help book anywhere to recommend to my clients that would really address what is going on within their hearts and, consequently, their marriage! So I decided to write one that cuts to the chase and touches the central nerve of the very problems I see: Self-defeating beliefs leading to self-defeating attitudes and behaviors. Developing the 3 essential elements in your life, and marriage, has the effect of making both shatterproof.

Many marital issues seem impossible. Either your spouse is unreasonable or you can’t see how a solution can be anything outside of what you have visualized. Obviously, it takes two to tango, but you can dance for a long time even with a clumsy dance partner who steps all over your toes. If necessary, you can choose to be the lead dancer. Ultimately, a marriage is just that. It’s the union of two people who care about each other enough to get involved in finding solutions and a meaningful connection. That, along with an open heart, is really all it takes if you have the right direction.

Thanks for considering these ideas and for participating in the quest for shatterproof living! I hope in some way this book helps you in your desire for the strongest marriage possible. Here is the table of contents:

Book Contents

Marriage Element # 1 

1. The right character
2. Build all personal character based on things you can count on.
3. See Opportunity in Adversity
4. Put Value on Things That Matter
5. Have the Personality of a Survivor
6. Be Intelligent With Expectations
7. Define Love Carefully

Marriage Element # 2

1. The right kind of love
2. Truly love for better or for worse
3. Importance of a Well-conditioned Heart
4. True Love Must Be Selfless
5. True Love Must Be Humble
6. True Love Must Be Devoted
7. True Love Must Be Enduring

Marriage Element # 3

1. The right spirit
2. Always find a way to turn every problem into a solution.
3. Make Sure Stress Is Not the Problem
4. Set Goals and Watch Things Change
5. Communication Essentials 101
6. Communication Essentials 102
7. Getting Out of Gridlock for Dummies
8. Summary and Conclusion

 

Counseling Solutions For Individuals, Couples & Families
John Eckenwiler, LMFT- Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor LMFC
Approved Supervisor, AAMFT
9220 Teddy Lane, #1100 ~ Lone Tree, CO 80124
12900 Stroh Ranch Place, #220 ~ Parker, CO 80134
303-267-2282

John Eckenwiler is a Member of the Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapy and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. His two offices are centrally located in South Metro Denver Colorado to meet the needs of clients in Aurora, Centennial, Lone Tree, Englewood, Denver, Parker, Franktown, Castle Rock, Highlands Ranch, Littleton and Englewood Colorado.

© 2008 - 2009 Counseling Solutions - John Eckenwiler, LMFT
(Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)

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