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Christian Perspective - John Eckenwiler
First of all, a Christian perspective is not dogmatic or push some kind of "agenda". If you wish to include Christian ideas in therapy discussions, principles of Christian living are discussed openly and directly. I explore what your belief system is and help you stay consistent with your own convictions about how to find solutions.
Below are some of the therapy principles I follow, which happen to be consistent with basic Christian life principles. All these are supported by research. If you base your problem-solving efforts on the principles below, you will find great success.
Therapy discussions and homework assignments will keep everyone focused in these areas:
1. Positives
It takes up to 47 positives to make up for a negative. So offer positive efforts to a problem.
2. Present
Resentments never heal, only destroy. Solve problems in the here and now.
3. Goals
All problems can be converted to goals to find true healing and improvement.
4. Reinforcement
Bless others with behaviors that reinforce feelings and behaviors that people want.
5. Act as if
Do the right thing to be a positive contributor to solutions regardless of how it feels.
Then your feelings will follow.
6. Go first
Be willing to do the constructive thing first; don't wait for someone else to go first. If the other person doesn't respond, keep going first.
7. Communication
Talk to others with gentleness and humility. Learn/use good communication principles.
8. Growth
Sincerely desire personal and relationship growth; bring that attitude to your efforts.
I also have a core belief that gives me personal direction in helping people. This is from years of providing psychotherapy (and what works) combined with my understanding of basic Christian living principles.
RELIABLE PRINCIPLES FOR DAILY DECISION-MAKING
- The principle of improvement - Will your choices be beneficial for yourself and those around you? Will they be for the true good of yourself and others? And will your choices enable you to be in control of yourself in good ways or rather be controlled (by your own urges, desires, situations you get into etc.)? This comes directly from ICor 6:12: "Everything is permissible for me but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but I will not be mastered by anything."
- The principle of integrity - Do what you say and say what you really mean. Do not allow yourself to have hidden agendas or your reactions to be based on unclear or unspoken issues. If you are not understanding your own reactions, admit it openly and do not blame others for those reactions. And be careful not to manipulate others just to get your way. This is based on IPet 2:16: "Live as free men, but don't use your freedom as a cover-up for evil."
- The principle of influence - Just because your choices may not be unreasonable or wrong, do they take into consideration what those around you can handle? This principle requires us to be sensitive and willing to compromise for the sake of building up those around us, even if sometimes you "shouldn't have to". Based on ICor 8:9: "Be careful that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block....."
- The principle of love - Instead of indulging in your own desires or being reactionary because of past hurts, you can choose an attitude of love in which you serve those around you. You choose to forgive, overlook being wronged, let go of anger and resentments and behave in a socially desirable manner at all times. When you don't, you are humble enough to admit it and get back on track. This can be summed up in 1st Cor 13:1-8: ".....Love.....bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...."
Counseling Solutions For Individuals, Couples & Families
John Eckenwiler, LMFT- Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor LMFC
Approved
Supervisor, AAMFT
9220 Teddy Lane, #1100 ~ Lone Tree, CO 80124
12900 Stroh Ranch Place #220 ~ Parker, CO 80134
303-267-2282
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John Eckenwiler is a Member of the Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapy and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. His two offices are centrally located in South Metro Denver Colorado to meet the needs of clients in Aurora, Centennial, Lone Tree, Englewood, Denver, Parker, Franktown, Castle Rock, Highlands Ranch, Littleton, Englewood, Elizabeth, Monument, Larkspur & Greenwood Village Colorado.
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